Sunday Funny

I love being a primary teacher.. yes sometimes it is really hard and I am happy that the kids don't come home with us, but most of the time I absolutely love it. Today was one of those I love it days.

The girl who was our spotlight today said she wanted magic hair that would grow really fast and long, so she could donate it... as she has done twice now (1st & 3rd grades) and will do it again in 5th grade. Cute right? Well after the spotlight Cody, grabs me by the head, puts his arm around me and tells me he loves my yellow hair. He then starts to play with my hair and twirl it in his fingers, "I love your yellow hair, it's twirly like a yellow roller coaster, it goes round and round" " I love it yellow, but I don't like the suntan lotion you put in it", then he smells my hair. "Mmmm..."

I just loved that story and had to blog it before I forgot it. I am okay with yellow roller coaster hair. Apparently even little boys like it. Good idea for a children's book huh?

-S :)

Christmastime

This is our Christmas tree, we are quite proud of it, it has snowflake lights (blue & white) but they don't come out well in a picture.. looks like next year we will need a bigger tree, this one is jammed-packed full of our Christmas ornaments.
Do you like our tree topper? We do! His name is Dufus the Reindeer, poor guy crash landed and we adopted him.
This is Joe's masterpiece, we had a day we spent making our "gingerbread" houses, I think this will be a family tradition for us.
This lovely house is the one I made, I am pretty happy with it. It is pretty much the best "Gingerbread" house I have ever made!
Even poor Daisy, our guard turtle, got covered in snow

Living in a winter wonderland

This is the view of our living room window, we can't see out unless we are standing up
Check out this igloo!! We were out there when it was being built.
My Graham Cracker tribute to the Rexburg Temple

Disney's 12 Pains of Christmas

This is so funny!

12 Days of Christmas.. 2nd try

Eight........

I was tagged by Sierra, thanks lol

8 Shows that I enjoy watching:

1. Gilmore Girls

2. Ugly Betty

3. Samantha Who

4. Smallville

5. My Wife and Kids

6. America's Funniest Home Videos

7. Extreme Makeover Home Edition

8.Charmed

(I don't watch TV that much... this was a hard list to make!)

8 Things that happened yesterday:

1. I woke up early (normal)

2. I watched the snow outside

3. I went out and helped Joe shovel the snow

4. I delivered memos for Jessica

5. Did laundry

6. Took a nap on the couch while Joe watched Narnia 2

7. Taught Piano lessons

8. Ate dinner with and enjoyed time with my in-laws

8 Things I am looking forward to:

1. Christmas with Joe, and attending my Great-Grandma's party for the 1st time in 5 years

2. Traveling to Kennewick tomorrow

3. wearing my skinny pants ... so so close!

4. Joe finishing school next semester and walking with him at graduation

5. getting over this stupid cold so I can breath and work out

6. Moving out of Rexburg

7. Adoption Paperwork being turned in...

8. Joe starting a Job he will love

8 Things I love about winter:

1. Christmas !!!!

2. Family time!

3. NO SCHOOL

4. Hot Chocolate...mmm

5. Snow, snow ball fights, building snow men...

6. Our (Joe and I) Birthday

7. a good book and warm blanket

8. cuddling to stay warm

8 Things on my wish list:

1. A House after graduation... and Joe's apprenticeship

2. Kids.... hoping adoption comes quickly

3. More time with family

4. Long hair (lol) I am growing mine out again

5. More time in the day

6. a dog.. ( that will happen some day)

7. A big, happy, healthy family of my own.. a rainbow family :)

8. ... I dunno I want to play the guitar!

8 People I tag:

1. Arielle

2. Cassidy

3. Lindsey S

4. Kim

5. Megan

6. Wendy

7. Stacy

8. Mom

Merry Christmas

Quickly... GOOD NEWS

I have lived with insulin resistance for over a year now I have modified my diet, I modified my activity level I have changed my life... and I was retested last week for Insulin Resistance.....

I AM NOT INSULIN RESISTANT ANYMORE.... but I will keep up the life changes because I am still going to be at risk for diabetes... finally good news at a doctor appointment... and I HATE doctor appointments!!

It is finals week so I haven't had any new posts.. I want to..no time!! So until next week when I am a college graduate!

-S

Sometimes I hurt...

You know most of the time I think that I do really well, I try really hard at it anyway. I even practice my brave face in the mirror.. no not really. But maybe I should...
I love school, but more than that I love that I am almost done with school. I want out of Rexburg soooo bad. I hate how I am literally surrounded by pregnant girls, yesterday I saw more pregnant ladies than I can count on two fists...not kidding, and not exaggerating... to top it off a girl in my class announced that she is expecting. (followed by a quiet brave face)

I am happy for people who are willing and able to have kids, but it does hurt me. It hurts becuase I feel like I can't and I am terrified to try because I am tired, I am tired of miscarrying and tired of surgeries. I am tired of people being worried about us or only asking how are you feeling... I am tired of my sweet husband following me to disappointing doctor appointments or holding my hand while I lay in a hospital bed after surgery. I am emotionally and physically worn out. I want more than anything to be a mom, but having this kind of exposure makes it really hard not to feel the impact of the fact that I am childless. I don't like to dwell on that fact but I was overcome with it yesterday...I had a good cry, but I never learn, I need to cry when I need to cry and not to hold it in until I am too tired to hold it any longer.

I have many friends who are pregnant and I am genuinely happy for you, really truly. But our plan is to adopt and I was overwhelmed today by the flow of support of my classmates who have asked questions and shown real interest. It means a lot and it means even more how quickly people have shown support and enthusiasim for adoption..thanks

-S

No one is invisible...

Just when I thought it was nice that we hide out in the primary and love our calling, even if it wear's us out.. we have a Sunday like this one...

November 30th:
I get two phone calls before church, the important one was that we were going to have two classess in primary today...we ended up with twelve , yes twelve kids in our class. Impressed?? I am, we survived and the primary presidency was shocked.

Before Sacrament meeting the bishop (FINALLY) gives us his recommendation for adoption and then announces that they will be released next week, so good thing that we have an extra bishop recommendation letter and we will be one of the first appointments with the new bishopbric...

We go and sign up for tithing settlement and the bishopbric asks us to say the prayers in sacrament meeting.. cool.. better that talks!!
After Sacrament meeting I got stopped twice.. once by my visiting teacher who informed me that she was bringing us cake on our birthday, she says it's not good to make your own cake. Then a guy stopped me and turns out he is the guy that called me and asked me to be a merit badge counselor for life saving... apparently word is out... I know how to save lives.. lol

When I arrived in primary I ended up playing the piano (apparently a lot of people went out of town and didn't get subs or even call the primary presidency to let them know!) so Joe was left with two full rows of kids ages 5-7 but they were good. I kept checking, I was nervous.

Class with twelve kids went surprisingly well... some how our kids acted better being with the younger class than on their own.. weird! But much appreciated.

Moral of the story, if you think you are invisible you are NOT and you may be destined for a day like ours. It was fun but I am glad that that is not an everyday experience. :)

-S

Adoption Update

This is a quick scan of our photo collage, it looks much better in person.. trust me...

We are so very very close to getting our paperwork done... had my physical last week, and I go in for another Insulin Resistance test on our birthday, and our photo collage is done. All we have left is our financial statement, and our background checks, we have put off the background checks because of $$ every time we had set aside the money to do them, something comes up that needed to be taken care of.. most recently new tires... they were badly needed. Then we need to set up interviews and a home visit. We feel really pushed, and I finally got the collage done because I had a day this week where all I could think about was finishing our collage, I had gathered photos, and thought about it lots but didn't do it, and finally since my mind would go no where else, I had to. Then once it was finished, and I liked the final product, I could move on and get other things done. So there it is enjoy

-S

Cake in the face....mine!

Please excuse the bulky sweatshirt, I had one a few layers, I slept downstairs, and it's cold!
My totally fake smile, I couldn't breath, thanks to a nose plugged with frosting!! She may have gotten my nose but I got her ear!!! ha! Good times.... and funny pictures!

Apparently my little sister Val felt that there was a serious lack of the feeding cake wedding pictures, Joe and I didn't do it, and Alisha and Marc didn't either, so that morning I left she did this to me...keep in mind that usually I would have caught on to something like this, but I just got up and I was seriously sleep deprived!! But it was fun anyway!

-S

Aaaaaaahhh!

My Brasilian dinner is tomorrow!!! I am looking forward to it, a little nervous, but it should be fun... and it's for a grade... international foods.

-S

Disappointed

I wanted to express my disappointment with the members of the church who have blatantly chosen to act in a way contrary to the counsel of our prophet. I am speaking specifically about prop. 8. We are all entitled to our own opinions, but we should be striving always to be obedient to those things that are asked of us... lets get back to the basics, ask yourself these questions:

Q1: Do you believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church?

Q2: Do you believe that the church is lead by a prophet who speaks to God?

Q3: If you answered yes to Q 's 1&2, shouldn't we follow the prophet? Do you follow the prophet?

I personally look forward to hearing our prophet when he speaks to us, and I will follow the prophet, no questions asked. He is there to lead and guide us in these latter days, I believe he is the true prophet and he speaks to us and tell us what our Heavenly Father wants us to know and do. I do not always understand the "whys" but all I need to know is the origin. If the prophet says,then I will go and do. You should too! I am ashamed of some of our members in California, it matters not what your personal opinion is, if you believe that we are members of the true church lead by a prophet, why won't you do what he asks, we are asked to do so little, is it that hard? What matters most in this troubling time is where you stand and how you acted... are you willing to follow the prophet in faith??

Follow the prophet, he knows the way.

-S

Another personal exercise

This is an assignment for Old Testament, we are doing personal practicums, we make up our own. I am doing one on self-esteem.

I am going to use the next three weeks to improve my self-esteem. I will be more positive about myself and I will recite a mantra out loud at least once a day, possibly in front of a mirror.

My mantra: I am a BEAUTIFUL daughter of God, and I CAN do hard things.

This might have slight variations, but it will basically stay the same. I will be keeping a journal to track my progress, if anyone would like they can join me!

-S

Lessons learned....

Mother's are NOT photographers, and should stay out of the way...
Think of it not as losing a daughter but gaining a bathroom....
Grandfather's tend to act out when grandchildren get married...

My parents are cute!

Alisha's Wedding

It was a beautiful day at the Columbia River temple and these are some of the wedding pics. which proves that even "non-smiley" people are happy on their wedding day.

To better myself

I have been doing something on my own for while, kind of an experiment. It is a kindness and politeness experiment.
1.NO GOSSIP I do not say anything behind anyone's back that I would not say to them. I think I started this when we started the adoption paperwork, I want people to talk to us not about us, and my job required me to talk about my residents and co-workers in complete honesty. All of this got me in the practice of not talking about people or when I do I tell them, really. It is interesting how this changes your thinking.
2. SAY PLEASE This is a word that helps a lot. In our primary class I get a little impatient, but we are sorely out numbered so I have started to use please A LOT! I ask them to PLEASE do quiet PLEASE be reverent. But when you use please you must use thank you.
3. SAY THANK YOU. I thank our primary kids for being good, they are shocked and proud and it makes a difference. I am also making an effort to vocally thank those nice guys that hold the door open for me at school, their faces say it all, they don't get thanked very much and this isn't good. I also say thank you at compliments, it's such a bad habit of us girls to say "thanks...but so and so" when recieving compliments, I have been just saying thank you when anyone compliments anything towards me, it's a good exercise.

-S

Our Little Buddy

November what?!

Update on Joe and pills:
Things are going great, this month Joe is on one pill a day! This is what he has to say about his progress:
I feel better and have more feeling I can't wait to be free of medication. Thank you for your prayers

What Shaylee has to say:
I have noticed that his balance is a lot better and his energy level is up, we haven't had any MS incidents since we started reducing his pills. He is challenging himself everyday, he rides his bike and he is working on walking down stairs with out relying on the hand rail. I am so proud of the progress that he has made and so happy that things are going well.

we love you all !

- J & S

Family

I miss my family!

This was taken a while ago, I have since lost a lot of weight and Joe has gained some (healthy boy) But this is my side of the family. I get to go home next month for Alisha's wedding, I am excited, I wish Joe could come with me, not that I am afriad of traveling alone, I just haven't done it. I am also excited that I will not be pregnant in Alisha's wedding pics., because for the last two family weddings I was pregnant, so I hate me in the family pics. so it is an exciting fact that it isn't possible for this one.

-S

Body Issues

This last semester (summer) I started off with a really bad two weeks, a doctors appointment in which we were told our baby had no heartbeat, the next week we had a D&C, a lump removed from my hand then that Sunday I ended up in the ER with gastrointeritis. Then Monday Joe got it. I had a hard semester, I worked my butt off and it paid off, my grades showed it. I noticed that I had pretty much no self esteem, I worked hard and stayed quiet in my classes and shy in percussion ensemble. This semester my percussion ensemble intructor noticed, he told me a couple days before the concert that he hadn't had to tell me to play louder this semester and I was doing good and seemed to be more confident. His comment got me thinking.

I still have a lot to deal with, I need to accept myself a little more, I accept our situation but I blame myself so much. I have absolutely no desire to be pregnant (ever at this point) I am completely okay with adopting. Being okay with this doesn't solve my body issues. I had a lot wrong with me that was fixed through surgeries, but for some reason I still miscarry. A reason unknown to us or our doctors. Getting pregnant terrifies me, because our pregnancies don't equal babies, our pregnancies all end in.... well.. death. I don't want to live being afraid of getting pregnant, and I am so tired of losing babies.

Because of all this I have had issues liking my body, it just seems to cause so much trouble. I had trouble liking my body, because of all the pregnancies with surgeries in between, I had gained a lot of weight which made me unhappy. I have been working on losing the weight and working out and it has changed my body, I have lost weight and : 2 of the 3 pant sizes that I had gained, about 6 inches from my waist, my collar bones are visible, and I have gained a ....wait for it...a butt (hee hee) I have never really had a butt before and doing squats has changed that, lol. My skinny jeans are waiting anxiously in the closet, I am so close to being able to wear them again.

But being skinnier feels great I feel like I look good and that it wonderful,the measuring tape has become my friend, but I still feel broken, my body still doesn't work the way it should. But today I found something that helped me with my body. This:

I am the hour glass shape,yes, my husband tells me I am but this chart proved it, I was more of a rectangle while I was chubby but with my shunken (and still shrinking) waistline I am an hour glass, I like this fact.
I share all this because that it has been on my mind lately and I just wanted to share it.

-S

Poll results

So I kept looking at our side bar and feeling guilty that I hadn't revealed anything after the poll had closed. We were waiting until we could break the news to our parents first. Nothing is set in stone but Joe has applied to the Lithia Honda location in Kennewick Washington. Yes, that is my hometown, but that actually had very little to do with the decision to apply for that location. We REALLY wanted to be in Boise, that way we could be halfway between both of our families. Then we were thinking seriously about Springfield Oregon. Then we got in contact with the man that gave Joe the job offer and talked about all these locations and he suggested Kennewick that it is one of the locations that he is over and it is really the best choice for us right now. Then the more we thought about it the better we felt. We feel that Kennewick is the place for us. We should be hearing soon from Lithia.

Oh happy Friday!

Usually thursday is my favorite day, becuase it is followed by a Friday. Friday isn't the favorite becuase if it's a bad day you wasted a perfectly good Friday. But yesterday was a crazy crazy concert day. So today better be good! :)

I woke up this morning with that happy but sore feeling, I almost forgot why I would be sore until I reminded myself of yesterday's events, and the fact I spent 7 1/2 hours playing the drums, and 5 hours before being a college student. Then a date with Momma Mecham, Jessica, Leann, Lasandra and Joe (of course) and two cookie monsters from Craigos, which quickly disappeared. Then shower and sleep, then a short few hours later I wake to the beeping of an alarm clock and time to get back to being a student, a lot of reading one class today (the other one is canceled for our test) meet with my partner to put together our presentation, and take a test then I can come home and clean it, becuase well the poor place has been so neglected this week and needs some attention. Then I can participate in a well earned nap, hopefully with the satisfying feeling of a clean house, clean clothes and a happy husband.

-S

Concert TONIGHT!!!

I have my percussion ensemble concert tonight, I am way excited ,and a little nervous because I will know a lot of people in the audience. But it will be amazing!!!

-S

Second Chances

I put up a post in frustration, pain and anger. I apologize to anyone who may have read it and been offended. Thanks W.

So I'll try again, I'll try to explain the situation and our feelings better than I did previously. The subject is pregnancy. To begin, I am a firm believer that no one should ask a couple when or if they're going to have kids- this is a matter left up entirely to them and the Lord, and they should not have to justify their personal decision, becuase it is not one else's business.

Now with that out of the way, being part of a big family is hard (we both come from big extended families) especially when you have had trouble starting your own family, we understand that some members of our family are going to start families of thier own, we now this and we fully accept this fact.

We have two cousins who are pregnant. This fact is a wonderful miracle for both of them and we offer our congratulations to B & C. We appreciated the way B told us her news. However C has not broken the news to us and we find it difficult to find a way to offer our congrats. We found out she is expecting over a month ago from a person who lived in the same town, however we knew long ago.

The problem and the painful part came about Saturday evening, we attended a family function, while we do love our family and family get togethers we found this one unpleasant. We felt left out of a secret that we already know, we know that sometime, somewhere the news was broken and then our of consideration for our feelings as the couple in the family who has had so much trouble starting our family, we were left out of this and we found that those in attendance were avoiding us and avoiding conversation with us, we were the recipiants of ackward glances and subjected to pregnancy talk in hushed tones. This hurt us deeply. We noticed this and felt it's impact.

We appreciate the concern for our feelings, we appreciate honesty more, we felt lied to and outcast. This ackwardness isn't necessary, while the announcement of pregnancy will bring up some pain on our part, we would rather hear the announcement and participate in celebrating with the family we love. We have no problems talking about families and hearing about pregnancy, but please be open about it with us if you are going to be open with the family that surrounds us. We have done our level best to make sure that our personal feelings do not interfere with family functions and that we attend those that we are invited to, but please do understand that sometimes we find them painful, we have not outwardly shown our emotions, we have made an enormous effort to mask them and make the best of every situation.

Thanks for listening.

Congrats to BOTH OUR YOUNGEST BROTHERS!!

On Saturday John won his 6th grade Football championship, we were there to see it, it was awesome! A game well played!

Saturday evening Dustin was in a marching band competition, and the band took 1st place- awesome, wish we could have been there!!

And the award goes to....

Wendy! You are our number one commenter and we LOVE IT!!!!! you get a golden star! :)

The tale of two Brains

This is a video we watched in my building an eternal marriage class I thought that I would put it here for you all to enjoy:




-J

The sum of a full week

I didn't work all week- I took time off because I had a nasty cold (not one that would be good to share with the elderly) I am glad I didn't work, I had a lot of homework, I spent a lot of time at home all wrapped up working on homework.

Wednesday: I finally got my approval for my major so I could put in my graduation application
Thursday: I turned in my GRADUATION Application, it is stamped and filed- so much better than just filled out and waiting. Now on to Joe's, and yes, we have all the paperwork, now we just have to do it!
Gma Johnson (Robison) called she and Bill were in town and we were lucky enough to have the time to go and visit with Gma and Bill. We were there when Shelly and Malerie shoed up and it was great to reconnect with them (or for Joe to connect with for the first time). We had so much fun spending time with family we see so little of.
Friday: we had a temple date with friends, they called us up and invited us to go and do a sealing session with them, I hadn't done that before and was totally up for it. Our group was a wonderful and friendly group and our sealing was funny and informative, he spoke really fast too, so we got through a lot of names. While doing those sealings I couldn't help but think that someday we'd be in a sealing room with our children, becoming an eternal family, and it was a real blessing to do that for those families. I want to go back soon and do that again.
Saturday: It snowed!! That means that in Rexburg we have had a grand total of three months this year without snow.. yes it did snow in June! (July- September = snow free) I can't wait to move! Don't misunderstand I do love the snow, but not Rexburg snow.
We had another date, we tried to invite our neighbors over for scones, they were having a date and wanted to borrow our movie, so we compromised and we joined them with our movie and scones. It was a lot of fun!
We are so thankful for our friends!




Today is the beginning of another week, another week closer to graduation, another week closer to completing paperwork, another week closer to Joe graduating, another week closer to moving on after college life.

Another poem

I was deep in thought on sunday and wrote some phrases down and later organized them. So here it is:

We question God, we ask him why
why did our babies have to die?
We have so much love to give,
why couldn't our babies live?
We struggle- are we unworthy?
I undergo more surgery.
A doctor looks inside,
I want to hide,
my dear husband, he does his best
he shows me love and he helps me rest.
We are trying to cope
and learning to hope.
We wonder what we have to learn,
what do we need to pass the test?
Somewhere our children cheer
our time is getting near.
Somewhere our children are growing,
they are, without us knowing.

-S

My sister

This is my sister's announcement, I just got done designing it. I am very excited for her wedding coming up next month!

-S

My Books

I make books in my Book Arts class! It is amazing!!



I promise this is the last post this weekend!

-S

Our Home

After spending 3 days home alone, I was able to sit back and think about the things that I love about the home we share. When you walk in, it smells good, and you see a big picture of Christ (thanks Gma B.) we have beautiful comfy couches and other things but our home feels safe and comfortable and beautiful and full of love!
Enjoy:

Life goes on... and Honesty

I wish life came with a remote, to pause or slow down life's good moments,and fast forward for the not-so-good moments. Well as life goes on I am just taking it one day at a time... and one day we'll be done with school and as W. pointed out life won't have summer and Christmas vacations anymore...that bummed me out a little but I found a positive... we will get our nights and weekends back!!!

Now time for some honesty... Infertility has dramatically changed my life as well as Joe's.I can't speak for him so here is my side. It has brought me closer to some friends and further from some. Things that used to make me happy make me cry (like holding babies, Joe and I both went over a year without holding one) I hate that I have lost contact with friends.. especially the 5 (yes 5) that are pregnant with baby #2. (Again I was pregnant with all of them during their 1st pregnancies) I am sorry for those who are pregnant and happily post pregnancy updates on your blogs, I am happy for you but it makes me hurt, so I won't visit or comment on your blogs often. Please understand. It's funny, but it is easier to be happy for my friends who are pregnant with #1 than #2.My whole body aches to be a mother but I have no desire to be pregnant right now, sometimes I feel likeif I could give Joe babies I would be a better wife, I know how much Joe wants to be a dad.

I feel like having the IUD is giving me the chance to take back control over my body and feel better about myself. And makes it easier to focus on Adoption, which is really exciting!

I don't consider myself much of a poet but this was in my head one day and I was forunate enough to be able to write it down:

I bear scars that no one can see
no one can see not even me
each day I try to be
a little bit stronger
as I kneel on bended knee
and pray a little longer
that I may fit the bill
and bend to match God's will.

little update: Joe and I do hold babies and like it now. Mostly our neighbor's son, we watch him sometimes, he's adorable and he really likes us. Joe is doing so well regarding his pills, he has better balance and is still getting more sensation back, it's wonderful. In fact he did the spud-day 5k and he did so well! I was so happy to support him by walking in it.


Sorry that was a little long and personal but I felt that I needed to share it.

-S

Adoption Update

We have felt an increased push to finish our adoption paperwork. We are getting close. What's left: both of our physicals, Joe's background check, financial statement, letter to birthmom, and photo collage.

Every time that we work on our paperwork we are so excited that we can't sleep, it's funny. We have relatively very little left to do to finish the paperwork but it's some of the hard stuff..

Help: If you have any pictures of either one of us please email them to us @ josephshaylee@gmail.com we need to collect more pictures to use in our photo collage.

Thanks so much.

-S

School Update

School is going great. Joe is on a retreat for 3 days!! with his IBC classmates no cell phones allowed!! BUMMER!! Joe is enjoying his classes,much better now that we are getting back into the rythym of school. I am doing good too. Unfortunately I had to switch some classes up- Egyptian art history for Drugs and Society- wierd I know but somehow it works to fulfill my clusters and help me graduate this semester.I have to wait for approval for some forms then turn in my graduation application, can you believe it? Once mine is done on to Joe's, get it out of the way so all he has to worry about is passing his classes this and next semester. :)

Joe comes home today!!!

1st day of school

Aaaaaahhh, so far so good for me. We will see how Joe does. he has class today from 2-5 I have another class at 2.


P.S. Bethany is in my Old Testament class :)

P.P.S Breanna is in my International foods class :)

yay for family at school

-S

Work

Some day's I really do not like my job and then other weeks (like this one) I realize how important my job really is. (I work at an assisted living home) This week we have a sweet elderly lady who is close to passing away, my co-worker and I had to move her hospital bed into a private room the family has been there everyday this week and they had been nothing short of wonderful to us. I really appreciate families that are nice to us, it makes life there easier. I hope that the work I do there for their grandma mother and wife and others helps their families especially as the time for those we take care of nears an end.

I think that I have the best co-workers there, better than I have had at any job, I attribute this to the nature of the job. It is not easy and not always fun and the people who are willing to work there are of the most caring people you could meet we care for the elderly and each other, and sometimes the lives of those we take care of depend on us, like yesterday...

I have a man I take care of and he has had lots of trouble and his doctors can't figure out what is going on, he is unsteady, he has seizures and losses consciousness- often. And yesterday I was finishing up a shower and I felt the need to go into his room, (he had been sleeping soundly all morning so we had put off getting him up) his bed alarm was going off I found him standing leaning on the wall, he started to shake I was able to grab him and pull him into me (a 6'3" man) before his knees went out and I was able to set him on the floor, I called for my co -worker (I don't yell so when I do my co-workers know to come quickly), his shaking got worse and we layed him flat and his breathing wasn't very good (really shallow) so I called my manager (policy) she had me call his daughter for her instructions, she had me take his blood pressure it was 101/174- really really bad, she was so calm and told me that she felt impressed that he should go to the hospital and asked if we could transport him, (no) so she had me call an ambulance. 911 my first time calling, less than 5 min later the ambulance and 5 paramedics where there, (keep in mind that the man is 6'3" tall and he is on the floor - not an easy transfer to a gurney) I had to stay and talk to the paramedics- very nice people. They hooked him up to all kinds of monitors and then shortly they took him with them to the hospital. Then I had to keep going on with my day, later I ran into one of the paramedics at the grocery store and my manager it is nice to see her after an event like that. I have decided that adrenaline is an amazing thing, it made me physically shake and my voice shaky but I had a clear calm head and was able to handle such a large man. I bet I could have lifted a car (not a large one) that day.

My job is hard, and days like that make it worth it.

Do these babies look alike??

I think so..





YES, These are pics of us.

-S

cuteness

Finish the sentence

I am J:short S: blonde
I know JS: the gospel is true
I want JS: babies.
I have JS:the best person in the world by my side.
I wish S: I was braver J: I was done with college
I hate J: stupid drivers S: crowds
I miss S: family J: open space
I fear JS: the unknown
I Feel S:reflective J: dumbfounded
I hear JS: the fan & clock
I smell JS: chicken enchiladas in the oven
I crave J: steak S: Ice cream
I search S: for answers to hard Q's J: for the missing parts
I wonder S: what the future brings J: where I'll be in 5 yrs
I regret JS: losing touch with friends
I love J: Shaylee Rae Mecham S: Joseph and our families
I care J: because I can S: about a lot of things
I always J: look for more to fix S: ask Q's (not in class of course)
I am not J:very tall S: done yet
I believe JS: in Christ, the church is true, the Book of Mormon is true, Pres. Thomas S. Monson is the true prophet
I dance S; at random times J: akwardly
I sing S: in the car always J: all the time
I fight JS: for our family
I write S: not enough (journal) J: every so often
I lose S: at Uno with Joe J: my mind
I win S: phase 10 J: Uno with Shay
I never S: swear J: run away
I listen J: to those I care about S: all the time
I am scared J: of the dark S: of getting old
I need JS: the gospel S: the chance to be a mom

WE TAG: ALL OF YOU WHO READ THIS!!! :)

-JS

"Not Fair"

That is what Joe said when he saw how many pics I was posting of him. I haven't started scanning mine yet but I had this one handy



I will post more of me too when I get to scanning them.

-S

check out this cutie pie!!

These are just a few (very few, we have over 140 pics of Joe on the computer now) of the pics I have scanned this week. We hope to use some of pics of us growing up for our paperwork. Enjoy.

-S

A "Real" Update

Joe and Pills: Starting next month Joe will only be taking 2 pills a day. He has made already made some improvements. He used to have a hard time keeping proteins in (like eggs), since reducing his dosage he has keep them in, and he has gained 5 pounds. He even had to loosen his belt one notch on Sunday (hee hee) I have noticed that he has more energy too. There are other small improvements but those are the main ones. He is doing well and excited to be on his way to being pill free!

Paperwork: We are trying (still) to get our password and username for the LDS Family services website- now worries I am calling the man in charge everyday this week. All we want to do with that now is put up our names and a couple pictures so a birth mom can get a little peak, then when the paperwork is done and home study approved we will put lots more online.
Right now I occupy my time scanning in our baby pictures from family photo albums, we are supposed to have a photo collage in our paper work (2, 8- 1\2 x 11" pages) of our family and since our immediate family is the two of us, we were thinking we could show a little bit of how we both grew up, and recent pictures of course.

Other than that we are doing what we can to be ready for school to start up again in a couple of weeks. We are both excited and not so excited about it, we can't wait to be done!!

I am quite bummed out this week, we have three friends that are pregnant with their second child, all of which I was pregnant with for their first. It's hard having friends that had their babies when we lost ours.

Well that is all for now. Any Q's are great, we'd love to answer any of them!

-S

More Giggles.. 'cuz I need 'um

Your inside look @ adoption paperwork

Update: We took copies of some of our adoption paper work with us to Washington. We completed our preference checklist and have made some serious progress on our hobby & interest sheet, and another "application"-type sheet.

Here's your inside look at the paper work (the italics are our answers)
The (dreaded) Preference checklist included:
Sex of the child (you know M,F Either) either, Would you accept: A child with an unknown father yes, a child not legally free for adoption no, a sibling group yes, twins yes.
We also had to mark our preferences for racial/ethnic background of a child(ren). Here are the choices: check any or all that apply- full/half/none for the following African American, Asian American, Caucasian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Native American & Polynesian. We marked all the boxes, we have no racial preference.
The bulk of the sheet dealt with lifestyle/medical & mental health possible for the child and known in the both birth parents. and finally our willingness of information sharing post selection and Post Finalization.

The Hobby Sheet included: (only a few to share for now) crafts, sewing, needlework, cooking, home decorating, art, photography tole painting, exercise, reading, raising, animals, taking, walks, camping, sports, travel, collections, computers & some church related like FHE,Scripture study, and church callings.

"Application" Some of the Q's: (sorry limited answers here)
-List the reasons for applying for adoption.
-Prior and current experiences with adoption including prior efforts. first attempt in adoption
-How long have you considered adoption? since we were engaged, and the duration of our 2 yr+ marriage
-Which Partner initiated the adoption? we BOTH did actually (which is really unusual)
-What is your understanding of the purpose & permanence of adoption?
-Describe your individual & family functioning. Describe inter-relationships with each family member.


So there is you inside look, any comments and Q's would be appreciated.. :) Thanks so much for your support!

- S & J

And the world keeps on changing

Last week we went to an adult stake meeting about the ward boundaries in our stake. Yup, we were reorganized! If you were to look on the map (sorry no visual, we gave our map to our neighbors who didn't make it to the meeting) we are in the middle of the stake and the smallest ward geographically. But from the attendance at church today we are by no means a small ward. We are in the same ward that we were attending but at a different time and a different church building.
We are still in primary for the time being. And primary now has at least doubled in size, we can barely fit into the primary room. Our class is really big and busy, I think we handled it pretty well but it is going to be a challenge week to week, they'll keep us on our toes.
But nothing else compares to a room filled with children singing their little hearts out. Those primary songs are so sweet and it is amazing to be in a primary that is so full of children singing loudly I am sure that the whole building could hear.
I love the changes and look forward to meeting and making new friends in our changing ward, and from the sounds of it, we will probably have a new bishopric soon too (they have been there for 6 yrs!) I am thankful we are in primary for some reason it seems a little less scary than relief society.. :)

-S

Summer in the sun

Our trip to washington was wonderful and it was a nice long trip and so needed. We are so glad we went and got out of Rexburg, but the thing that I miss the most besides family is this:



I love Joe's goatee! He had to shave it before he went to work when we got home.. I hope when he works for Lithia that they allow facial hair because I love it! I think that Joe misses it too, because I touched his face more.. lol enjoy

My Reflections...

I don't necessarily consider myself "infertile" in a permanent sense. I have bee pregnant four times and still don't have a baby. And I still haven't had a definative answer froma doctor as to where or not I can actually have a baby. Sometimes I feel like I've lost control of my body, adn don't really know where to find the remote again and get it back.
On Biological Parenthood :It is so confusing, what we thought should have been so a fiven- having a baby, what has been commanded- multiply and replenish the earth, it isn't happening for us, now.My body isn't working the way it should and I feel helpless in attempting to "fix" the problem. What should have been easy has become physically and emotionally challenging. Sometimes I "will" my body to function properly, but getting and staying pregnant doesn't really work that way. It is an emotional and complicated process coming to terms with the possibility of not having a biological child.
On Pregnancy Loss: I have been pregnant, I can say that. I have had morning sickness, fatigue & weight gain. I claim those experiences as my own. I really would like to experience the 2nd and 3rd trimesters.. and what follows. I am jealous of the women I know who are pregnant at a time when I was too & now have their babies and 2 even are pregnant with their second children! However I do not miss the post-pregnancy weight loss struggle becuase hEY, I am there!I am working on losing weight from those pregnancies and resulting surgeries.
On Healing and Greiving:I've been poked, prodded, medicated and discussed. I've fought, struggled, grieved, and made sacrifices. My self esteem has been pummeled and my marriage has been stretched beyond belief and still grown stronger. We must grieve what we've lost, we are grieving things that we don't fully understand. So to give ourselves some time to heal and to help us to concentrate on adoption. We decided not to get pregnant for a while.. to facilitate this I had an IUD put in, back in June and having done this we've felt some relief and we plan on keeping it in place for at least a year .

I know this can't be the most entertaining or interesting post to read and it is probably more for me than anyone else who reads it but I feel better having gotten some of that out in the open.

-S

Doubled Tagged

How to play this game: Post these rules on your blog; List 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 random surprising facts about yourself. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names.

JOYS-
1) My hubby Joseph!!
2) Spending time with family, getting to know Joe's side too
3) Laughing

FEARS -
1) honestly, I am kind of afraid of the dark, at work. at home I am fine
2) I'll be good and group my animal fears all together, I am really scared of horses, snakes and sharks. Horses are beautiful but terrifying (to ride,but this weekend I managed to pet one) Snakes need no explanation (but I did help get one out of the garage once by using a hockey stick and shooting it into a bucket my mom was holding) Sharks, yea it maybe a little irrational but non the less I still cannot watch Jaws, even though I have personally met Bruce (also a funny story)
3) Recently Hospitals, and doctors. I have a bad case of "white coat syndrome"

GOALS -
1) To be a better wife to my sweet husband, and show him how much I love him
2) To live my religion more true ( I don't buy into the mormonism culture, back to the basics, more temple attendance, more study of what past and present prophets have said.. I learned a lot this semester in teachings of the living prophets class)
3) Graduate in December and help Joe get through and graduate in April.

CURRENT OBSESSIONS/COLLECTIONS-
1) Currently Joe and I are collecting baby items, to prepare for adoption, since you really can't have a baby shower without a baby, we just want to be ready in case the call comes, we need a place for the baby.
2) Joe would probably be disappointed if I didn't say water, I LOVE to swim and go boating and even just take a bath, if I am stressed or emotional Joe knows where I am. He says I am his little fish, or mermaid...?!
3) We are obsessed with getting out of Rexburg, no offense to locals but we are ready to get away and move on to bigger and better things!

RANDOM FACTS -
1) Joe and I have the same birthday three years apart.. see if he ever forgets the date.. ha! :) (totally unplanned, we found this out on our first official date)
2) I love to go barefoot,I could live barefoot, but somehow I still love shoes, Joe is keeping tabs on how many I have,( I take my shoes off before my backpack even if it is heavy)
3) I am ticklish in the weirdest places, like my head, it tickles me like crazy when I get my hair shampooed by other people. And there is this spot on my back that tickles me tons, Momma Mecham found it one day and Val did recently. Weird I know!



Name On Birth Certificate: Shaylee Rae Swanger
* Nickname: Sunshine, Shaylee Rae of Sunshine, Shay Shay, Shay Rae, BT, SWANGER, recently I have been called, che-che, and shayleelee (sounding kind of oriental)
* Age: 22
* Birthday: December 4
*School: Graduating from BYU-I, with BS in University Studies (Minor in Music, Clusters: culinary arts and graphic design)
* Location: spare room, in our apartment, Rexburg, Idaho, USA
*Color of eyes: Blue
*hair: Blonde
* Height: 5'7"-ish
* Shoe Size:8
* Brothers/Sisters: 2 sisters 1 brother all younger

------------------HAVE YOU EVER---------------
* Missed school B/coz it was raining: probably not, but freezing rain yes.
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: Once in science class we dipped our hands in this bubble stuff and lit it on fire, it was cool!
* Kept a secret from everyone: yup
* Had an imaginary friend: Dunno, mom did I?
* Cried during a Movie: Not often, but I do during America's funniest home videos, on a good night I laugh so hard I cry.
* Ever thought an animated character was hot? .. no I don't think so
* Had a New Kids on the Block tape: Nope
* Been on stage: Lots, I am a musician
* Been sarcastic: Never!

------------------FAVORITES------------------
* Shampoo: It changes, but right now I like Aussie
* soap:Dove, I have sensitive skin so that is about all I use
* Color: It changes about every day, but I don't like orange
* Day/Night: Day, day
*Summer/Winter: Summer
* Lace or satin: ummmm
* Fav cartoon Characters: Dunno, too many to pick from, in every disney movie there is one that is my fav.
*Fave Food: It varies from day to day, I am a poor college student
* Fave Ice Cream:Chocolate peanut butter on a chocolate day, but I love vanilla bean
* Fave person to talk to online: Cesar, he is really the only one I talk to online

---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
* Cried: No
* Cleaned your room: Hehe, nope-it's a mess while packing for Wa.
* Done laundry: I am going to tomorrow..
* Drove a car: yes

-----------------FRIENDS------------------
* Who have u known the longest of your friends: Deana for sure, we've known each other forever
* Who's the loudest: My Sister Val
* Who's the shyest: I don't think I have any shy friends, I think I might be the shy one.. believe it or not
* Who do you cry to?: Joseph, but I have had some emotional moments with Lindsey.
* When you cried the most: That's hard, and probably too private

For this first one I tag anyone who reads this.

This is a picture of Elder Sam Mecham (the one on the right), we just got this and I was excited so I put it up!
-S

kicks and giggles

Family Fast

We would like to have a family fast. We went to Joe's nuerologist today and we are starting the process of weening him off of his MS medication, we don't believe that he needs it anymore, and the risks of taking the medication are getting too great the longer that he is on it.
We would also appreciate it if we could keep in mind the same day birth moms, not just a birth mom for us but please pray for those young women who are faced with terribly hard decisions, that they may be guided by the spirit to do what is right for them. Thanks so much. We love you all!

-S&J

Another Blog

We thought that we need to start another blog, for prospective birth moms to see and get to know us, without all the infertility stuff. I guess that means that we need to get better at staying up to date with two blogs now! http://joeshayadoption.blogspot.com

-S

Schedules, Graduation & Adoption

We are both now registered for classes for fall semester, Joe is finally signed up for his IBC Business courses & he'll be taking a religion class too. I will be taking a bunch of random classes for finish out my degree. Classes like: International foods ( a culinary class), Old Testament, Percussion Ensemble (Again for fun!) Book arts & Egyptian art history.

We're going to GRADUATE soon!! Despite everything we've managed to stay in school and pass our classes. I am set to graduate in December and Joe will graduate in April. We will be walking together in April. We can't wait to be done with school and get out of Rexburg!

Adoption Update: We have our paperwork! Finally!! Thanks to a separate savings account where we hid money away, generous relatives and an IRS Stimulus check, we got the paperwork. We've only had it for a couple of weeks but we have made good progress so far: our employment verification letters are in, and we have placed all 4 of our reference letters. Sorry we wanted to use all of you, but we chose to use those who we could visit and ask in person and we couldn't use family members. We continue to work on our paperwork and it occupies our minds when we aren't working on it.

Thanks so much for your love & support. We do feel it

-S

We're Coming to Kennewick

I get done with school on the 18th of July. We will probably be driving through the night and be in Kennewick on the 19th then we will be traveling back to rexburg on the 30th!! Just thought that we'd give ya'll a heads up we'd be coming that way, we'd love to see everyone.

funny stories, all true.

Our Primary kids are always funny, Cody especially. Just last week he said he didn't want to sit by me because he didn't like me, I asked him why and he said it was because he was afraid of my stitches, when I showed him that they're gone he got really excited and pretty much yelled "I'M SO PROUD OF YOU" and gave me a big hug and a kiss. The rest of primary he spent cuddling my arm or trying to kiss my hand.

On Thursday in percussion ensemble we were learning how to march in parade block and there is a blind man in our section- who is awesome by the way but I had been helping him by giving him signals on his arm, slow down speed up stop. then we were done and our teacher told us that we had 2 minutes to get back inside to practice. So he (the blind man) grabbed my arm and said run I need my walking stick and it's in the field and processed to push me into running, halfway to the field, I said please slow down and he asked why, I said my pants are falling down.. he said oh don't worry I won't look!

At WalMart a couple days ago Joe and I were just walking aisles shopping and all of a sudden out of the blue I trip and almost do a face plant, Joe turns around and looks for what may have tripped,he didn't find anything, I tripped over thin air, risking injury to self. Man that was bad.

Joe didn't have any stories he wanted to share... maybe next time this last one is an email one of my residents got and showed me, something funny on it's own but even funnier in the hands of a 98 yr old woman!!

We're still alive and kickin'

I am glad to announce that Joe and I are both better and energy levels are coming back up as well. It had us both wiped out for quite a while. I am thankful that Joe didn't get as sick as I did, but still sick enough. And luckily I had medications to help him out too,( it's so nice when drs. give you meds for nausea instead of letting you feel yucky) I just felt guilty that I was too sick to help him much more than sharing my meds.

We decided it was time to get out and do something!! We needed a date so last night we went and watched Narnia Prince Caspian, it was really good.I think it is safe to say we recommend it but it is Not really a movie for an audience under 10 years old. I realized that I really need to read the books again I was frustrated with how little I could remember, and have another series to read... after I graduate! This was the 1st time in over a year that we have gone to the theatre, unbelievable for movie-lovers like us.




We just wanted to let ya'll know how we are doing well. Just getting back into the swing of things. Some current short-term goals: I want to lose some more weight- shouldn't be too hard, I work, I bike & walk to school (about 3 miles roundtrip) and I am taking water aerobics, and Joe wants to gain the weight I am losing, he is working on it with a kettle bell (some kind of weight thingy, he could tell you more).

And we should have an adoption update for you soon!!!

Update, finally?

I am sorry that it has been a while since the last time that we updated you all. This is Joe this time since the many situations of the week. The major one that kept Shaylee from updating you all is the surgery that she had done on her hand. she had a legion removed from the side of her left hand. This keeps her from being able to type very well and even play the piano, which we know that she loves. Earlier last week, She had a D&C done on Tuesday. The surgery on her hand was done on the following Friday. On Sunday morning she threw up for about 5 hours, including the one in the ER. We were there for about 2 1/2 to 3 hours and then went home. On Monday night, I ended up getting the same bug, imagine that. I threw up from 7 until about 1 am. We were happy that i got it because that it meant that it was not caused by infection because of surgery. We found out that it was gastrointiritis. It is a sickness that is worse than the flu, so we are told.
Even with all of this, Shaylee is still keeping up with her schooling and loving it. We are both doing fine now and just got back from Shelley where we watched my brother(John) play soccer and my sister(Jessica) played volleyball in Idaho Falls. We are happy to be home and i am very sorry that I have not been on here to update you yet. We have been doing are level best to take care of each other. We love you all and hope that all is well. Thank you for your prayers, for they are felt no matter how small or far they come. Thanks again!
Love,
Joe and Shaylee

Do you support us?

In light of recent events, our drive to adopt have been renewed and refueled, we had slowed down because of the pregnancy. We are going to adopt, and to be able to go through that process we are going to need the unconditional support of our immediate families and extended families and our friends. We know some of you may not understand why & how we've decided to adopt. It has been difficult and we know it may be just as hard for you to understand.

1. Yes, we know it's only been two years (almost) but much has happened, and as we discovered suring our adoption calsses many couples have had the same experiences, but usually over the course of five years or so, we've done it all in two! (not that it is a race or anything, just illustrating how fast and how much has gone on)

2. We have both wanted to adopt. We thought this would happen after we had our own biological kids, now adoption is how we plan to begin our family.

3. Most Important, we know this is what we need to do. We've prayed and fasted and gone to the temple with adoption in mind and always the answer is yes.

We're doing all we can to prepare. please be supportive and understanding of our decision. Adoption is a long and trying process with a lot of paper work to get through, and we've only just begin.

We need your love and support

We are again going through a difficult time: three weeks ago we found out that I was pregnant, two weeks ago our baby died, and one week ago is when we found out. I was nine weeks pregnant and the baby was measured at eight weeks.. Our doctor wants me to miscarry naturally, but if that doesn't happen by monday (the 28th) we'll go ahead and have a D&C.

This came as a shock to us, both the pregnancy and the impending miscarriage. We aren't looking for anything more than moral support. We're tired of feeling like we've been keeping secrets from those who love us. We just want you're understanding, especially if we're not being very social, if we don't want to talk about things and if we've been a little distant. Sorry, but now you know why.

Not going private after all

We have decided to stay an open blog. We've talked to people who are afraid of weirdos that are looking for personal info,it scared us for a little bit then we looked ourselves up online and the only free info given was our websites, but our websites do not divulge any more information than we chose to display ourselves. If you pay money you can probably get our phone #s and address online as well but that info is pretty much public domain if you are in the phone book. So we feel safe letting our blog stay an open blog. We also want to keep our blog open so that potential birth moms can look at it, and if it is private it doesn't give them the change to look at it freely.

So no worries you all can still read our blog, but we will be careful with what kind of info we are choosing to display.