Second Chances

I put up a post in frustration, pain and anger. I apologize to anyone who may have read it and been offended. Thanks W.

So I'll try again, I'll try to explain the situation and our feelings better than I did previously. The subject is pregnancy. To begin, I am a firm believer that no one should ask a couple when or if they're going to have kids- this is a matter left up entirely to them and the Lord, and they should not have to justify their personal decision, becuase it is not one else's business.

Now with that out of the way, being part of a big family is hard (we both come from big extended families) especially when you have had trouble starting your own family, we understand that some members of our family are going to start families of thier own, we now this and we fully accept this fact.

We have two cousins who are pregnant. This fact is a wonderful miracle for both of them and we offer our congratulations to B & C. We appreciated the way B told us her news. However C has not broken the news to us and we find it difficult to find a way to offer our congrats. We found out she is expecting over a month ago from a person who lived in the same town, however we knew long ago.

The problem and the painful part came about Saturday evening, we attended a family function, while we do love our family and family get togethers we found this one unpleasant. We felt left out of a secret that we already know, we know that sometime, somewhere the news was broken and then our of consideration for our feelings as the couple in the family who has had so much trouble starting our family, we were left out of this and we found that those in attendance were avoiding us and avoiding conversation with us, we were the recipiants of ackward glances and subjected to pregnancy talk in hushed tones. This hurt us deeply. We noticed this and felt it's impact.

We appreciate the concern for our feelings, we appreciate honesty more, we felt lied to and outcast. This ackwardness isn't necessary, while the announcement of pregnancy will bring up some pain on our part, we would rather hear the announcement and participate in celebrating with the family we love. We have no problems talking about families and hearing about pregnancy, but please be open about it with us if you are going to be open with the family that surrounds us. We have done our level best to make sure that our personal feelings do not interfere with family functions and that we attend those that we are invited to, but please do understand that sometimes we find them painful, we have not outwardly shown our emotions, we have made an enormous effort to mask them and make the best of every situation.

Thanks for listening.