Tuesday, August 26, 2008

A "Real" Update

Joe and Pills: Starting next month Joe will only be taking 2 pills a day. He has made already made some improvements. He used to have a hard time keeping proteins in (like eggs), since reducing his dosage he has keep them in, and he has gained 5 pounds. He even had to loosen his belt one notch on Sunday (hee hee) I have noticed that he has more energy too. There are other small improvements but those are the main ones. He is doing well and excited to be on his way to being pill free!

Paperwork: We are trying (still) to get our password and username for the LDS Family services website- now worries I am calling the man in charge everyday this week. All we want to do with that now is put up our names and a couple pictures so a birth mom can get a little peak, then when the paperwork is done and home study approved we will put lots more online.
Right now I occupy my time scanning in our baby pictures from family photo albums, we are supposed to have a photo collage in our paper work (2, 8- 1\2 x 11" pages) of our family and since our immediate family is the two of us, we were thinking we could show a little bit of how we both grew up, and recent pictures of course.

Other than that we are doing what we can to be ready for school to start up again in a couple of weeks. We are both excited and not so excited about it, we can't wait to be done!!

I am quite bummed out this week, we have three friends that are pregnant with their second child, all of which I was pregnant with for their first. It's hard having friends that had their babies when we lost ours.

Well that is all for now. Any Q's are great, we'd love to answer any of them!


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

More Giggles.. 'cuz I need 'um

Your inside look @ adoption paperwork

Update: We took copies of some of our adoption paper work with us to Washington. We completed our preference checklist and have made some serious progress on our hobby & interest sheet, and another "application"-type sheet.

Here's your inside look at the paper work (the italics are our answers)
The (dreaded) Preference checklist included:
Sex of the child (you know M,F Either) either, Would you accept: A child with an unknown father yes, a child not legally free for adoption no, a sibling group yes, twins yes.
We also had to mark our preferences for racial/ethnic background of a child(ren). Here are the choices: check any or all that apply- full/half/none for the following African American, Asian American, Caucasian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Native American & Polynesian. We marked all the boxes, we have no racial preference.
The bulk of the sheet dealt with lifestyle/medical & mental health possible for the child and known in the both birth parents. and finally our willingness of information sharing post selection and Post Finalization.

The Hobby Sheet included: (only a few to share for now) crafts, sewing, needlework, cooking, home decorating, art, photography tole painting, exercise, reading, raising, animals, taking, walks, camping, sports, travel, collections, computers & some church related like FHE,Scripture study, and church callings.

"Application" Some of the Q's: (sorry limited answers here)
-List the reasons for applying for adoption.
-Prior and current experiences with adoption including prior efforts. first attempt in adoption
-How long have you considered adoption? since we were engaged, and the duration of our 2 yr+ marriage
-Which Partner initiated the adoption? we BOTH did actually (which is really unusual)
-What is your understanding of the purpose & permanence of adoption?
-Describe your individual & family functioning. Describe inter-relationships with each family member.

So there is you inside look, any comments and Q's would be appreciated.. :) Thanks so much for your support!

- S & J

Sunday, August 17, 2008

And the world keeps on changing

Last week we went to an adult stake meeting about the ward boundaries in our stake. Yup, we were reorganized! If you were to look on the map (sorry no visual, we gave our map to our neighbors who didn't make it to the meeting) we are in the middle of the stake and the smallest ward geographically. But from the attendance at church today we are by no means a small ward. We are in the same ward that we were attending but at a different time and a different church building.
We are still in primary for the time being. And primary now has at least doubled in size, we can barely fit into the primary room. Our class is really big and busy, I think we handled it pretty well but it is going to be a challenge week to week, they'll keep us on our toes.
But nothing else compares to a room filled with children singing their little hearts out. Those primary songs are so sweet and it is amazing to be in a primary that is so full of children singing loudly I am sure that the whole building could hear.
I love the changes and look forward to meeting and making new friends in our changing ward, and from the sounds of it, we will probably have a new bishopric soon too (they have been there for 6 yrs!) I am thankful we are in primary for some reason it seems a little less scary than relief society.. :)


Thursday, August 14, 2008

Summer in the sun

Our trip to washington was wonderful and it was a nice long trip and so needed. We are so glad we went and got out of Rexburg, but the thing that I miss the most besides family is this:

I love Joe's goatee! He had to shave it before he went to work when we got home.. I hope when he works for Lithia that they allow facial hair because I love it! I think that Joe misses it too, because I touched his face more.. lol enjoy

My Reflections...

I don't necessarily consider myself "infertile" in a permanent sense. I have bee pregnant four times and still don't have a baby. And I still haven't had a definative answer froma doctor as to where or not I can actually have a baby. Sometimes I feel like I've lost control of my body, adn don't really know where to find the remote again and get it back.
On Biological Parenthood :It is so confusing, what we thought should have been so a fiven- having a baby, what has been commanded- multiply and replenish the earth, it isn't happening for us, now.My body isn't working the way it should and I feel helpless in attempting to "fix" the problem. What should have been easy has become physically and emotionally challenging. Sometimes I "will" my body to function properly, but getting and staying pregnant doesn't really work that way. It is an emotional and complicated process coming to terms with the possibility of not having a biological child.
On Pregnancy Loss: I have been pregnant, I can say that. I have had morning sickness, fatigue & weight gain. I claim those experiences as my own. I really would like to experience the 2nd and 3rd trimesters.. and what follows. I am jealous of the women I know who are pregnant at a time when I was too & now have their babies and 2 even are pregnant with their second children! However I do not miss the post-pregnancy weight loss struggle becuase hEY, I am there!I am working on losing weight from those pregnancies and resulting surgeries.
On Healing and Greiving:I've been poked, prodded, medicated and discussed. I've fought, struggled, grieved, and made sacrifices. My self esteem has been pummeled and my marriage has been stretched beyond belief and still grown stronger. We must grieve what we've lost, we are grieving things that we don't fully understand. So to give ourselves some time to heal and to help us to concentrate on adoption. We decided not to get pregnant for a while.. to facilitate this I had an IUD put in, back in June and having done this we've felt some relief and we plan on keeping it in place for at least a year .

I know this can't be the most entertaining or interesting post to read and it is probably more for me than anyone else who reads it but I feel better having gotten some of that out in the open.