Tuesday, March 31, 2009


We're counting down the days until graduation!!! 10 days!!
We're counting the number of visits our adoption profile has had so far! 13!!
We just need to get through the next couple of weeks with school and work and packing, we can do it!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Happy B-Day!!!!

(Shaylee looking shocked, Valerie holding baby Dustin, and Alisha)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUSTIN!!!!!!! YOU'RE 18, Wow!! And don't your sisters all look thrilled that they got a baby brother?Well we are! Happy Birthday Brother!

Thursday, March 26, 2009




Adoption, this is what it is all about

This is a slide show, narrated by a Birth Mother, it is beautiful. Check it out, it's only 4 minutes long.



Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Living Life.. and lovin' it

Graduation looming near... so close! We are so excited! And we are so happy to get most of our adoption stuff out of the way before the craziness coming up packing, finals, switching insurance, selling stuff, doctor appointments, getting copies of our medical files, address change, fun stuff huh? Adoption stuff have been crazy too but we are mostly done, we are now just waiting to be notified if we are approved... should be really soon! And then waiting and networking!

High Five to Joseph. He is done with harsh and dangerous medication. So far he has only experienced one unpleasant side effect: his balance is off, he is a little wobbly. That is the ONLY symptom that we have noticed. Besides that he has had so many improvements, his vision is better, his energy better school still wears him out,he has other improvements that are too personal to put on the blog. But he is biking which helps build up his leg muscles and giving him more control. I can't tell you how hard the winters are for him, he lost muscle mass in his legs. Right now we are researching natural ways to help Joe out. He has tried some vitamin supplements and they have helped a lot, we are also going to consult a chiropractor who is a nutritionist and a natural path. I have had success with it and hope that there is a way for Joe to experience success with his lasting MS symptoms.We are happy with his improvements and hope to keep away from drugs that may cause more harm than good.


Friday, March 20, 2009


We had our last interview before being approved to be adoptive parents today!!! It was great, yes we were nervous! Our caseworker is coming to our house tomorrow to check it out and make sure a baby would be safe in our house, etc. And our caseworker is pushing to have us included in their staff meeting where they evaluate the couples and approve them!!! AAAaaaahhhh! I am so excited!!

Our caseworker even joked that it would be funny for us to have a baby placed with us before we move in 3 weeks! haha. He says it is possible, not probable... what a thing to say to us! I thought it was funny though!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The infertility post....

I put up the last post because it was helpful for us. We were given this info forever ago and I came across it in an adoption blog and I thought it might be helpful to put here. I can look back and see how we have gone through this stages, and while in the midst of it we had to keep starting over. We started over and over again because we lost pregnancies so close together and underwent medical procedures and we were in school. Goodness!

I have been working on transferring my adoption journal over into an actual journal. (it was a notebook that is falling apart) So I have literally seen how we were in each stage of Grief and Infertility. I think that we are both in a much much better place and have enjoyed our time that we have given ourselves to heal and to explore and prepare for adoption. We still have tough moments but I won't burst into tears when a friend announces a pregnancy true story, but there are moments when I still feel the loss. So bear with us, we are still learning and growing.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Infertility and Emotional Stages
Adoption Education Resource Manual, LDS Family Services, Kearns Agency.


The most common first feeling of infertility.


"This can't happen to me!" Denial serves a purpose. It allows the body and mind to adjust at their own pace to events that might otherwise be overwhelming. Denial often comes into play at the time of miscarriage or stillbirth. The loss is too enormous and sudden to endure. It needs to be processed and piecemeal until it can be totally acknowledged.

Infertility is a personal and embarrassing subject to discuss. Many infertile couples keep their problem carefully to themselves. This has two very unfortunate consequences: first, the family, friends, and peers of the couple may presume they are using birth control or do not desire children. This leads to needling and pressuring to start a family and fulfill society's dictates that families should be continued. Second, the partners, if they do not confide to others about infertility, must necessarily turn to each other for support, understanding, and sympathy. Often this is an impossible request because both members of an infertile couple are under stress.

When a couple enter into investigation and attempted treatment of their infertility, they surrender much of their sense of control over their bodies and destinies. The reaction to loss of control and helplessness is often anger. The anger way be very rational, focused at real and correctly perceived insults. Sometimes the anger is more irrational and may be projected onto targets such as the doctor, or an adoption worker. The real target of the anger is both the situation and the self. Anger which isn't acknowledged or released is often repressed and may lead to chronic depression.

Guilt and Unworthiness

People try to make a cause-and-effect relationship between infertility and something they have done (or not done) in life. Infertile people frequently decide that they are not being blessed with a pregnancy because they are in some way unworthy. Pregnancy is being withheld as a punishment.

Depression is a real legitimate state of sadness, despair, lethargy and vague symptoms of distress. When infertility is marked by an end point, such as final knowledge that pregnancy will never occur, depression gives way to grief.

"Death. Death of a lot of things. The end of the Jones family and the Jones' family name. It dies with us, because of me. My husband is the last of the male children in his family. Death before life ...before we even knew our child, because he never existed. The hardest part of this kind of death is the fact that it is the death of a dream. There are no solid memories, no pictures, no things to remember. You can't remember your child's blond hair or brown eyes, or his favorite toys or the way he laughed. Or the way it felt to be pregnant with him. He never existed."

There is no funeral, no burial, no grave to lay flowers on. The couple often grieves alone. The infertile person may entertain fears or fantasies that the fertile partner will leave--or worse, will stay and be secretly hostile and condemning. The feelings may lead to a sort of self-fulfilling prophesy.

The Course of Normal Grief
The first state of normal grief is usually shock and disbelief. To absorb the loss so that they will not feel overwhelmed. The second state of grief is actual suffering. Experiencing the painful feelings of sadness and emptiness. Weeping and sobbing, loss of appetite, exhaustion, choking or tightness in the throat. This "grief work" progresses, and the acute state of suffering will usually pass within several weeks to several months. Finally after the third state of grief, recovery begins. They will establish relationships and new interests as well as show renewed ability to experience pleasure, diversion, and satisfaction. Grief, of course may be reactivated, but the suffering is never as acute again.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

25 things about Joseph

1. I am the oldest of 6 children

2. My whole immediate family has blue eyes and blonde or brown hair, excluding my parents who are gray haired and my Father is balding, I seem to be following in his footsteps.

3. I like to work with my hands. Doesn’t matter what, construction, bicycle repair, gardening. My personal favorite is working on cars.

4. I love being outside. Exploring the outdoors is a favorite pastime of mine, I get a small glimpse of Heavenly Father’s creations.

5. I love the snow. But I hate falling on the slippery sidewalks, for this reason I love the Fall and spring also.

6. I love my wife and consider myself lucky because I am one of the few with a Barbie for a wife.

7. My whole immediate family needs corrective eyewear (contact or glasses) I am not excluded from this, in any small way.

8. My favorite car, dream car of course is a Dodge Viper. Because I saw the sports cars designed for Pike’s Peak run, a which is a dirt road and a steep climb, and requires all wheel drive.

9. My Favorite pickup truck is a 4-door Toyota Tacoma. I would like one in fire engine red.

10. I can’t count the number of times I have had stitches, and I am not sure that is a bad thing. I attribute most to working on Farms.

11. I used to love to breakdance, and yes I used to be able to do it all.

12. I used to love to run. I ran cross country in highschool.

13. I love to work. A job well done leaves me satisfied and there is nothing wrong with a good sweat. Although my wife would prefer I shower before hugging her when I get all sweaty.

14. I love to play family games like SwashBuckled.

15. I love to ride 4-wheelers. I grew up on 32 acres and that was a lot of land to ride on.

16. I also grew up moving pipe on a farm and the 4-wheeler was the best transportation n that I could have ever had.

17. I speak Portuguese because I served a mission in Brasil and plan to teach our children the language.

18. I love to watch movies with my wife and especially at our house where we can cuddle and enjoy one another’s company.

19. I love my in-laws because my father-in-law and I like a lot of the same things.

20. I can sketch the faces of a few cartoon characters and love to see the faces of others when I do.

21. I love early mornings and how quiet and peaceful it is. It is a wonderful time to just sit and think and ponder on life.

22. I love to work on vehicles and mostly to see and hear them run after I am done

23. I loved the mission and more especially the joy that I get to see in the face of others that hear of the gospel. I look forward to the time that I will be able to go on a mission with my wife and have her enjoy the same feelings.

24. I love to be able to help others and see the joy that they show after the work is done. Especially when the work is something that they cannot do themselves.

25. I love to be around family and to do things with them. Life is too short to not enjoy the time that we have together on the earth.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tonight's the night , the night of nights!

Elder Samuel C. Mecham is arriving in the Idaho Falls Airport, from his mission in Copenhagen Denmark!! 10 pm!! Man we'll be pooped tomorrow!! ha ha :)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Happy, Thankful, Thoughful,

What smiley are you today?
click on the pic, it makes it big enough to read!

I am so very thankful for our loyal readers and our loyal comment makers! We HEART U all! And many many thanks for all those who have added our button to your blog!! We can use all the contacts we can get! You are awesome!! Thanks so much for your support!! :)
We have been so blessed this year, regarding our health. We haven't had any real medical emergencies or incidents for almost a year. We are thankful. But our lack of medical interventions seems to have caused an explosion of medical incidences on both sides of our family! No kidding! Joseph's G-Pa is having a quadruple heart bypass today, and my G-Ma is having her tonsils removed on Friday due to a lump on her tonsils that is probably cancer. These are just the most recent ones, there have been a lot on both sides of our family and some I am not going to mention for privacy. We pray for our family,and express our thanks for our good health this year. We have had a "boring" year, it's what we prayed for after almost two whole years of medical unrest.

In other thoughts we are so happy to be graduating so soon, one month!! As mentioned in previous posts, Joseph has a job offer with Lithia Motors and while the offer is firm we haven't been given a location yet. But we are planning on going to the Tri-Cities in Washington. We feel this is right, we feel soooo good about this decision. We've offered to do just his apprenciship in the Tri-Cities and then be moved to another location. We will see soon hopefully. We are so incredibly thankful for this, we are thankful for the work we have both had and for the offer Joseph has.
With the way the economy is right now we are so so thankful for our future opportunities. I am personally thankful for the career path Joseph has chosen, automotive technology management. Service, service is steady, especially in a bad economy, an economy where people aren't necessarily looking to buy cars but to mantain what they have.
I am also thankful for the opportunity to visit some friends recently, you guys are awesome! I loved that I finally got to get out and see you!


Thursday, March 5, 2009


How do add?:
1) Right click on the button, choose "Save Image As", and save to your computer.
2) In Blogger Layout, choose "Gadget" and "Picture"
3) Download the button and put our blog URL in the link box.

Our adoption blog URL: http://joeshayadoption.blogspot.com

Thanks so much!