Keeping up Hope

Lately we've heard the comment that people are impressed with how positive Joseph and I have been through all our trials. The first thing I'd have to say regarding our positivity, is that our attitude is our choice. And every single day, we have to make that decision over again. The choice between letting our circumstances rule us, or to take charge and have faith, courage, and hope to make the best out of it.

The second thing I'd say is that we're not so positive everyday, or even all day long. Sometimes its all just too much. The day the doctor gave the diagnosis: legally blind, optic nerve damage. That was WAY too much. We had so much hope going into the appointment, and left with our lives changed- much like another appointment I've blogged about. We had been coping with the vision loss as temporary but the day we found out it's permanence, the coping strategy changed. Before calling our parents, or even going home, as both were unfathomable .The news weighed heavily upon us, so we instead went down to the river and sat on the docks. The days following the appointment, we were zombies- so much so that we didn't remember to eat. Things are much better than that week, but it is still hard.

We feel the pains of our struggle with infertility again somedays, sometimes more that others. Lately it's been hard because we know so many people who are expecting. At least on in every group of friends we belong to, literally, no exaggeration. We just want to be a family. On bad days I think to myself that they'll all getting fat and I'm losing weight. No offense, but it makes me laugh and feel better.

And we have found a new love together, that we enjoy, especially when stress runs high... Dr. Seuss. I don't know what Joseph likes more, Dr Seuss' literary style or my struggling to read it out loud correctly. I'll share some wisdom from our little Seuss library. (edited because it's long)

Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you chose
you're on you're own. And you know what you know
and YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
(...)
out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
as footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry, don't stew.
Just go right along
You'll start happening too.
OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!!
(...)
Except when you don't
Because sometimes you won't
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickley perch
and your gang will fly on.
(...)
You'll be left in a lurch
You'll come down from the lurch.
With an unpleasant bump.
And chances are, then,
that you'll be in a slump.
And when you're in a slump
you're not in for much fun,
un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

Oh the places you'll go! There's fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won!
*and make you the winning-est winner of all.
Except sometimes when they don't
Because, sometimes they won't
(...)

Whether you like it or not,
alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants
There are some, down the road between hither and yon.
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go.
though weather be fowl.
(...) on you will go though your enemies prowl
onward up many
a frightening creek
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
so be sure when you step
stop with great care and great tact
and remember that life's
a great Balancing act
... And will you succeed?
Yes! you will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed)

On bad days I'll read this and other ones too. And we've gotten a kick out of changing the colors of the illustrations on Joseph's enlarger. But there are days when we're grumpy. Days when we want to bury our heads in the sand. Days when we want to give up. Day we want to scream. Day when people's comments don't bounce off us like they should. Day when we want to curl up under the covers and hide. But there are also good days. Days when we laugh and giggle 'til we cry, or have to pee. Those are good days.

When you think things are bad,
when you feel sour and blue,
when you start to get mad...
you should do what I do!

Just tell yourself, Duckie,
you're really quite lucky!
Some people are much more...
oh, ever so much more...
oh, muchly much-much more
unlucky than you!

It's a troublesome world. All the people who are in it
are troubled with troubles almost every minute.
You ought to be thankful, a whole heaping lot,
for the places and people you're lucky you're not!

Thank goodness for all of the things you are not!
Thank goodness you're not something someone forgot,
and left all alone in some punkerish place
like a rusty tin coat hanger hanging in space.

That why I say, "Duckie!
Don't grumble! Don't Stew!
Some critters are much-much,
Oh, ever so much-much,
so muchly much-much more unlucky than you!"

*s*

Thanks Dr Seuss for the quotes!! Oh, the places you'll go! and Did I ever tell you how lucky you are?